Don't Mess With Voodoo
by muaaimoi
Summary: Penny was right. Or the reason Sheldon is so prepared specifically for the Zombie Apocalypse.S/P as always.
1. Chapter 1

_**Don't Mess With Voodoo**_

**by: muaaimoi**

Six-year-old Sheldon Lee Cooper ambled morosely around his Library. Missy had been easily entertained with a new coloring book and was stubbornly ignoring her chance to gain new knowledge. Not that Sheldon was surprised. Missy clearly didn't care about learning. Especially no where near as much as Sheldon did.

Sheldon sighed.

Not two years ago this had been his favorite place. It was his quiet haven from bullies, an oasis of intellectual solitude, and his fountain of knowledge. It was here he found books that told him why the sky was blue, Why you couldn't see the moon during the day and where the sun went at night (Which was nowhere at all; the earth was the one that revolved around it). It had been the first place to offer him an answer to his many, many questions that wasn't "because God made it that way". Sheldon had loved it.

And it had just utterly let him down. He'd read everything worth reading in the science section. He's even tried the simpler books, which just restated everything in the more "difficult" ones. And so he wandered, trying to find something else to capture his interest. Finally he comes to an intersection between two large looming shelves.

_In another world Sheldon discovers science fiction two minutes there after. That Sheldon makes a Left, promptly discovers the what-if's and maybes of advanced science, and falls in love. This Sheldon will make the same discovery in time._

_But he has made a Right._

_And in this dusty neglected corner of a Library in the Bible belt lies the one true rebellion of a woman trapped in Texas. The Librarian is very good at pretending to be happy and demure. It keeps her husband, the latest man in a long line of alcoholics who abuse her, happy. And the happier he is the less he hits her. The books had come in just last night and no one could ever know._

_She has no way of knowing someone already does._

It's the discrepancy that catches Sheldon's attention. He doesn't much like dust, or dirt, or messes. So the juxtaposition jumps out at him. The books directly before him are old, but not worn. Clearly well taken care of, and yet the rest around them are dusty, much like the shelves themselves. Curiosity piqued, Sheldon draws one from the shelf and cracks it open.

**"This Ancient Book Of Shadows is not for the idly curious. The knowledge here revealed has been forbidden through the centuries, and has caused great suffering and even death to thousands accused of being witches and warlocks... even to their punishing victims. You have been warned!"**

Sheldon drops it.

His six year old heart is pounding and he is achingly, morbidly curious. Sheldon is awful at keeping secrets. It something his brother and sister hate about him, and that their mother exploits ruthlessly. If he reads this, Sheldon knows, like he knows the sun rises in the east and sets in the west (His dad has a compass and Sheldon checks, once a month on random days.), that his mother will be very, very mad.

But in his hands is the very first promise of power Sheldon has ever received. He is the most powerless person he knows. In his house, his desires always rank last. In school, no matter how smart he is , the teachers are to be obeyed. And what little freedom he finds, bullies take from him.

His Mother is forever saying "turn the other cheek". He doest understand why if Jesus will forgive her putting ground glass in his fathers meatloaf, he wont forgive Sheldon planting his fist in another boy's face. It's certainly less lethal.

His mother had not been happy with that line of questioning, and Sheldon had been told, under threat of his first "Real Texan whooping", that until his mother did indeed do it, there was nothing to forgive. And that had better stay the case with him and the bully's at school.

Sheldon, as always, obeyed. He was fairly certain that as awful as the boys at school were, their strength was nothing compared to his mothers. He'd seen her biceps flex while wielding a rifle and there was really no comparison.

So Sheldon stares, truly conflicted for the seventh time in his life (He keeps track of the more unpleasant emotions he experiences. It does very little to help him avoid it however).The warning before him seems more an entreaty. And Sheldon has never been good at resisting temptation.

Meemaw calls him moon pie for a reason. He will never admit it's because he'd finished one of her Pie's all by himself and she had caught him red handed. Face smeared with gooey cherry filling. Its one of the few secrets he's managed to keep. Just between him and possibly the only person he liked whole heartedly in the World. It had really helped that Meemaw had provided them both with alibis.

It's that thought that does him in. It's statistically easier to keep a secret if less people know it. Theoretically Sheldon will be the only person that knows he has read them. If he flips quickly trough the pages he can go home and observe them in his minds eye whilst going to church tomorrow. Sheldon knows the entire bible by heart. He won't be learning anything new.

The prospect of church is the final nail in the coffin. No one has any reason to ask him about it, and no one will think to bother him at mass, lest they suffer his mother's wrath.

Sheldon picks up the book.

_**The book of shadows excerpts are straight from the Internet. I'm doing this on a whim so I really don't feel like real in depth research, but by the by, Voodoo is African in origin and actually meant to ward off evil spirits and blah- blah-blah, its not evil or anywhere near as dark as I'll make it seem for the purpose of this fic. It just wouldn't be anywhere near as fun to write if I got into the happy spiritual part of it. Likewise I won't strictly adhere to what lore it does suit my fancy to find.**_


	2. Chapter 2

_**Don't Mess With Voodoo**_

**by: muaaimoi**

Within two day's Sheldon is driving himself up a wall. He's almost willing to concede that there is some truth to certain bible stories, regardless of them making no scientific sense. If Sheldon had been Eve, humanity would not have lasted long in paradise either. He probably wouldn't have even needed the tempting of the snake.

Sheldon needs to know. He goes through his days with passages from the Books of Shadow's he's read wandering teasingly through his mind. The scientist in him keeps drawing up experiments. How to test if there is magic, way's to quantify his proficiency in it.

He's so busy in his head he's barely speaking. His parents are too busy thanking the Lord for the peace this affords them to be too bothered by it. George is hoping up and down the boy's just managed to talk himself out. Mary's just grateful for the answered prayer and doesn't think twice about it.

Finally, he can't take it anymore. He doesn't have anything mystically powerful, not in anyway that matters, the cross he wears is useless as he lacks faith. But Sheldon has long made his peace with having to make do with what he's got. It's just a little test. Sheldon knows it's ambiguous, and that ambiguity is an enemy to science. But it seems to be magic's friend so Sheldon figure's what the heck.

He slips out of his room and quietly into Missy's room. He can hear her in the kitchen and what he wants won't take but a second. A year and four months beforehand, the day before their first and rather traumatic trip to Disney world, Missy had piled a bunch of her Disney books rather carelessly on the radiator. One of them had fallen behind it, and knowing how forgetful Missy was, it was probably still there.

Sheldon strikes gold. Or rather Goofy, which is quite frankly, a few hundred times worse. Sheldon drops the book like it has scalded him and flees back to his room.

Ducking under the covers is usually rather useless, but today it serves the dual purpose of blocking him from sight and making him feel better. There is nothing Sheldon hates more than his inability to forget trauma. Just seeing Goofy's visage in his home is going to give him nightmares for a whole week. That is, unless magic really does work. Then the spell he plans to perform will make him dream of superheroes instead.

It's a very straightforward experiment. Sheldon suffers from nightmares after seeing Goofy. The  
>spell he plans to perform promises to alter that, and let him dream of something he chooses.<p>

Ergo, if the Spell works Sheldon will have wonderful dreams about the super friends. If it doesn't he will have horrible Goofy induced nightmares.

Really, the things Sheldon does for science.

Never the less Sheldon pulls a marker out of his pocket and his wallet. His Super Friends card is placed deliberately into his pillow case and the runes for guided dreaming go just behind his rolled up sleeve's. Its suppose to be on his hands, but from what he understands of Spell casting , a lot of it is difficult for no reason.

And he needs to hide the Rune's from his mother.

" Shelly, dinners ready!" His mother calls from downstairs.

" Coming" he calls back, rolling his sleeve's back down and stuffing his things back into his pocket.

He's jittery all through dinner, but he's quiet, so he's ignored in favor of his rather vocal siblings.

Mary realizes that Sheldon isn't hounding her for the second shower of the day and resolves to thank the Lord even more profusely in prayer. Clearly all the praying she's been doing to make her special little boy just a little more normal is paying off. And Lord has Jesus been kind!

Now all Mary needs is for George to stop drinking and she won't ask for anything other than her family's health.

Her husband slamming the door open is all she needs to know she ought to start praying harder.

"George!" She shouts, "What have I told you about drinking in this house!". And yet another fight begins.

Sheldon, who had been counting down the minutes to bed time anxiously, jumps onto his bed. When his parents fight, no one will come to tuck him in.

He hums loudly to himself in an effort to drown out the voices and hopes they don't start braking things. Raised voices do upset him, but having points emphasized by shattering glass truly terrifies him. He knows both his parents have an exceedingly high potential for violence.

His mother is better about channeling it into other things, like church and prayer. But when that's not enough she always goes hunting. His dad's more liable to disappear for a while and come back achy and bruised, having no doubt picked a fight some where.

Missy and George Jr. are good at ignoring things like that but Sheldon isn't. He can remember being held while his mother was on the phone, talking about how Alisa from down the street needed to leave the drunk who beat her. He can also remember the day he shot her. His mother doesn't know of course. No one does. Sheldon doesn't talk about how clearly he remembers things. How he can never manage to forget anything at all. No matter how hard he tries.

He hears the door slam again and his mother begins doing the dishes far too enthusiastically. He can tell by the banging of pot's and pans.

He supposes it's better than exercising that potential on themselves, or worse, on their progeny. He knows some of the kids in his class get smacked around at home. He's grateful he's not one of them, but it feels like a near thing, some days.

Suddenly Sheldon really hopes magic does work. That he will be good at it, and that he can make his parents stop fighting.

His eyes water and he feels stupid for torturing himself with Goofy when its his parents fighting is more likely to give him nightmares.

He twists and turns all night. And he can barely fall asleep.

But when he does, he has good dreams.

**So, hope you guys like it.**


	3. Chapter 3

_**Don't Mess With Voodoo**_

**by: muaaimoi**

Sheldon is thirteen when he sees his first Zombie.

It is all quite by accident. He knows better than to mess with the dead, the warnings of near ancient tomes well learned. But that's clearly not the case for everybody. There are a bunch of teenagers gathered around a grave. If five is a bunch. There are five teenagers and a Zombie. They're making quite the ruckus as all the female's present (Except for the Zombie) seem to be sobbing. They're also drunk as skunks, as his mother would say.

He can tell by the way they sway and stagger. In fact, the Zombie isn't very different from them. It's clearly a new corpse, and if it wasn't for the gaping hole where its aura should be, Sheldon wouldn't have known the difference. The teens around it chatter on obliviously, passing what's rather clearly more alcohol around. Sheldon stands there frozen. And wishes he was anywhere else.

It had been easy enough to sneak out of his room. Jean, a very level headed and serious person who is his room mate, generally drops the guise on weekends and parties until the next day. While his Parents would be appalled by the behavior of someone they trusted their child with, Sheldon has come to appreciate his consistency. And count on it. Even if it had taken him a while to figure out that his repression of his true nature was why his aura said one thing and Jean usually did another. He found that was the case with a startling number of people.

In fact one of the few people who seemed to say and do as their nature dictated was his mother. Even his beloved Meemaw curved her actions or words around her neighbors.

Seeing as it generally made the repressing party unhappy, he had resolved to avoid this. He gathered that it did him no favors when making friends. But Sheldon had come to collage to learn, not soothe fragile egos. Considering that he was on his way to his first scientific nomination and his so called peers weren't, he figured he was doing something right. Or they were doing many more things wrong. Sheldon figured it was a little of both. Plus many other factors. He simply hadn't gotten around to graphing them yet.

He had been minding his own business testing a new spell. It was suppose to enable him to sense ghost. Hence his presence at the graveyard. New spirits are always somewhat attached to their remains. Sheldon has never grown out of his habit of attempting to quantify magic. In fact he even keeps a Book of Shadows. As electronic and heavily encrypted as it was. He'd planned to walk across the graveyard and plot all the spiritual presences he could sense. He would then cross reference the grave stones with the death dates of the corpses. It was a simple experiment.

Instead he stand's gawking at the most atrocious thing he's ever seen.

An aura is a critical component of anything living. Not because it showed emotions and such, those tales where hokum when it came to magic. It is because it's an indication of life. The most basic part to any of us. Our soul so to speak. Or a reflection of it rather. That's why it held one's nature. The most simplified spiritual part of anyone. Or anything.

And the dark sucking wraith the Zombie held instead made bile rise in his throat and his palms go sweaty.

Reflexively, he casts his senses out.

He feels the death of the cemetery. The vague mist's of the spirits he was there for. The sharp acridness of sacrifice at the headstone and the dark swell of necromancy as it seeped into the zombie.

Sheldon began to dry heave.

But he was attuned to it now and he realized he'd missed one. Behind the tomb stone, blocked from his sight was the necromancer. No doubt the others had offered their life force to keep the Zombie going. Not realizing what they where giving up( No one in the circle make's it out of their thirties).

The person is weak.

Curiously enough Sheldon has never felt another magic user. Sometimes he has wondered by site's that have been used for magic. Or felt some one practicing at the edge of his awareness. But magic is his dearest secret. So he has always shied away. In fact he's taken pains to keep his power hidden, invisible to others that practice the art.

He's very glad for it now. That person can't sense him.

Not that Sheldon is sure he could have even with out the added protection. Magic takes a certain force of will the necromancer clearly lacks. The magic of the Zombie is creeping out. Draining it back into the grave.

Sheldon almost breathes a sigh of relief until he feels something nag at him. Like he is standing before a problem who's solution is dancing just out of his reach. It's a sensation he has truly come to hate as an academic.

It isn't until he feels an impossibly darker and vile presence seep into the corpse that he realizes what it is.

There had been no circle of protection.

xXx

_**I usually hate cliff hangers but I couldn't resist. Hello half way point. After this its three more chapters, the last two of which are Shenny. I hope you enjoy!**_


	4. Chapter 4

_**Don't Mess With Voodoo**_

**by: muaaimoi**

Sheldon understands that the divine exists in the abstract. He can't quite wrap his head around cosmic energy with a certain level of cognitive ability that chooses to grant spiritual protection in exchange for worship. If Sheldon was a cosmic entity, he'd be much to busy granting people superpowers. But deserving people. There would be a two PhD minimum requirement. And an immediate rescinding of their powers should they ever use them for evil.

From what he's observed, for most, that's not the case. These beings will take whatever worshipers they can get.

He has felt the warm presence in his mother's church since he became aware of spiritual energy. Likewise, many of the Worship symbols of other religions glow before his eyes. Easily accessible, ripe with promise and protection. Sheldon has never required it. He would much rather protect himself.

It was something he was very grateful for now. He doubts he can drag up enough confidence in some fickle cosmic deity to protect him at the moment. But plenty of select rituals on his clothes have this lovely purifying side effect hes rather fervently grateful for. Thank you, laundry night. He can't quite hold back an obscene giggle at the thought of his batman shirt providing protection from a demon.

And that is most definitely what has just sunken into the formerly failing Zombie.

The existence of actual evil is also no surprise. Some of the darker spells he can recall from those tomes, so many years ago, had hinted at calling blood thirsty spirits from another plane. Its also practically Newtonian. For every action their is an equal and opposite reaction. Ergo, once good came into existence , so did evil. There had to exist something those cosmic beings where offering protection from.

Even Steven Hawking had commented on 'visitors' of sorts in one of Sheldon's favorite lectures. Of course he was talking about particular matter from space, and Sheldon was talking about entities from parallel plane's of existence. Still, Sheldon will stand by their being a corellation there.

Just like their is a correlation between a demonically possessed corpse and a lack of living people around it. The rest of the Teenagers around the grave are in some Deep-Dog-Doo. And they don't even know it. He highly doubts they go about Laundry night like he does. Sheldon hopes some of them are religious. Then realizes that they would not be participating in what can only be described as a satanic ritual if they were.

There doesn't seem to be any other way around it. He's going to have to interfere. Even if it means interacting with the other magic user. Or rather especially. He doesn't know if theyre are any direct side effects to having your necromancy Hijacked by a demon. But he imagines that Circles of Protection are forever stressed on any large magical undertakings for a reason.

The Zombie spasms, limbs jerking akimbo and an obscene grin stretches across its face.

Sheldon tells himself to stop thinking and act.

Then surprises himself when he actually does.

Next thing he knows, Sheldon Cooper is running full tilt towards the Zombie. And he manages to take it down.

The perfect flying tackle execution can only be a result of years of watching football. But gaining the upper hand in the struggle that follows can only be attributed to one too many sibling skirmishes. He'd never thought he'd be grateful to his siblings for picking on him.

He wraps his arms tightly around the creature and discovers that its atrophied vocal cords can scream. His senses become rapidly clogged with the result of frying flesh. The smell of burnt skin fills his nostrils and if it wasnt for the repelling ward built into his clothes, charred flesh would cover it. Its nasty enough feeling it give. The brief warmth that informs him the area in contact with his clothes is cooking the creature alive... Sheldon has never been so grateful for his tendency to double up on cold nights. Resolves to never wear simply one layer again.

He doesnt register the screaming fleeing Teens. Won't even think of them until weeks after the fact. He can barely think about what he's doing now.

He just closes his eyes and holds on.

Eventually the creature goes still beneath him.

But Sheldon is no fool. He can still feel it. The barest hint of vile darkness holding on to the burnt out husk. Who ever the girl had been didn't deserve to have this done to her corpse. He doesn't move until he's sure its completely gone.

Even then, he barely manages to get onto his knees before he's throwing up. The entire content of his stomach comes barreling out of his throat and onto the charred remains of the corpse. Sheldon stares at his vomit blankly for a long, long time before a wheezing hack pulls him out of his daze.

Laying behind headstone was the necromancer. Sheldon hadn't had time to form any real expectations of him besides Idiot. All he had caught was a fleeting impression that informed him the Idiot was male before the feel of the necromancy itself had drawn his attention away.

He's grateful for it now. He's been grateful for a lot of things tonight.

Sometimes his senses tell him too much about a person. And he cant think of this person as human.

Sheldon has loved comic books since he was five years old. He can pull random facts about his favorite super heroes from thin air and wax poetic about them all day. He has long since realized that a strict moral code is required to be a hero. To throw people who do atrocious things in jail repeatedly instead of killing them where they stand. Sheldon had realized within a year of reading every comic book he could get his hands on that he didn't have it in him to be a hero.

Oh sure he understands that the biggest reason for the die hard morality .Christian undertones and the writers not wantng to write up an original villain every time a hero did away with an old one. Its practical to recycle them. Sheldon doesn't think this takes away from the fact that some people just needed to die. The Joker? Hell yes. Lex Luther? Definitely. Sheldon isn't saying that the heroes should go out of their way to be judge, jury, and executioner. He's just saying that if he was a hero, and one of the villains in his universe happened to be in the way of a falling building, he wouldn't push them out of the way. So the blonde man in his forties that had tricked a bunch of teenagers into giving up what amounted to years of their lives to raise a corpse? yes, please.

Sheldon thinks all this as he watches the man wreath on the ground and cough up blood.

He knows a few healing spells. He could probably keep the man breathing long enough to get him to a hospital. He could probably call an ambulance anonymously, and they might just make it in time to save him.

He thinks about what a demon would have done in the mortal plane and doesn't.

" Why?" He asks, and hates himself. He doesn't want to know the answer to that. He doesn't. But he is a scientist. He has dedicated his life to answering that question.

The blonde man looks at him. Eyes cloudy with pain, and just a shade too close to his own grey blue gaze.

" Power" He wheezes, and his eyes roll into the back of his head. The man barks a laugh, a sound made twice as horrid by the heartfelt joy in it. He sounds happy, and it dawns on Sheldon that though he's dying ( Paying for his foolishness in the most final way), the man doesn't regret a thing.

" Power" the man breathes out one last time and he dies.

Sheldon isn't sure how he gets his feet to move. He's also not sure if he will ever manage to bring himself to cast something that isn't a purifying spell ever again.

xXx

_**Well this came out a bit briefer than I expected. ...Oh well, On to the Shenny! Two more chapters to go! Please drop me a line telling me what you think? I've gotten a lot more alerts than reviews and while those are really awesome too, its the reviews I re-read for inspiration to write. So help me update please~**_


	5. Chapter 5

_**Don't Mess With Voodoo**_

**by: muaaimoi**

The second Leonard walks into the Apartment, Sheldon knows somethings wrong.

It's not the impotent anger on his face, though Sheldon notes this and dismisses it the way he usually does. It's not the angry stride, or the way Penny follows in behind him with a glare. It's not the clear tension between the couple.

It's the Aura of Evil that jumps out and basically slaps Sheldon in the face.

He stares blankly at the rapidly cooling Thai food Leonard drops before him, and knows he won't be able to stomach any of it.

Sheldon hasn't actively used magic for years. He has given up the ability to understand his fellow man. Surrendered the power to manipulate his dreams and twist the world to his liking. The only thing he hadn't been able to give up was his laundry practice. Not after it had so effectively saved his hide. Frankly he's suprised his ability to sense magic hasn't atrophied over the years. But it was currently proving it was in perfect working condition.

Providing, as it was, the details about an object Leonard held in his pockets. An object that was at least two hundred years old and had probably done away with all of it's previous owners. Only Leonard, complete disbeliever that he was, would be smart enough to recognize a object of actual mystical value amid the usual riff-raft people sold, and be stupid enough to buy it.

He knew nothing good could come of Penny's naive take on the magical. Sagittarius indeed . He narrows his eyes at her when she lingered at the door. She met his gaze as she always did, boldly. Frustrating woman.

"uh-oh" Howard murmured under his breath,"Impending domestic."

Raj nodded and proceeded to whisper into his ear.

" Yeah, they do look like they're about to break up. Maybe Penny will be in need of some loving comfort. Or comfort loving, if you know what I mean." He knudged Raj with a wink.

Sheldon didn't spare them a glance.

The couple breezed right by them and into the kitchen. Where they proceeded to square off in silence. Sheldon observed them anxiously, actually hoping they would start shouting for once, if it would give him some clue into what exactly Leonard had just brought into his apartment.

The tense silence did not last long.

" Throw it out Leonard!" Penny hissed heatedly at the man before her, " That's some Voodoo Doll. What part of ; you don't want to mess with that, didn't you understand!"

Behind her, Sheldon raised an eyebrow, maybe not so naive then.

Leonard scoffed. " Oh come on! Penny, I just payed eighty bucks for it. It's a hundred years old, it was the only cool thing they had in that shop!"

" Throw it out or we-are-through Leonard!"Penny exclaimed jerking her thumb across her neck.

" I bought the stupid thing for you! Its suppose to bring success, aren't you always going on about needing some in your life?" Leonard snarled back, reaching into his pocket and pulling out a head with careful stitches of the worst kind of symbols. Really, only Leonard.

" Not through Voodoo I don't . Don't you get Karma at all? I thought you were suppose to be smart!"

" I am smart!" Leonard blustered." You know what! Fine!" He said, and smashed the Voodoo head on the ground.

Of course he did. Leave it to Leonard to open a gateway into a Blood Plane.

" There!" Leonard spat.

Penny shrieked, jumping back.

" Do you have any idea what you just did?" She spat. Wide, horrified eyes trained on the shattered relic on the ground. "That is some really bad mojo."

Sheldon just stared at the swirling portal in his kitchen in sheer disbelief. Really, really bad mojo.

Leonard looked at Penny quizzically," Oh what now, I fixed it, didn't I?"

Before Leonard the mystic vortex pulsed, invisible to untrained eyes.

" Oh my God" Penny breathed. Then she booked it straight out the door.

Sheldon was right behind her. Slamming both doors between the apartment shut as he hissed at Penny to get him a candle.

It was a testament to how scared they both where that no biting comment followed. And that Penny didn't argue and just did as he asked. Sheldon cast his magic into the candle, making it malleable and soft. He then began dragging it against the door , painting the strongest warding spell he knew.

" What about the others?" Penny asked, from where she hovered anxiously over his shoulder.

" It might just be a magical Armageddon Penny, every man for himself. Besides, Leonard was the one that brought that thing into my apartment. And Wolowits and Koothropaliy are somewhat religious." Sheldon answered absently. He could make new friends. Possibly better ones, even. The math certainly suggested it. But Sheldon dismissed the train of thought. Mind mostly immersed in the familiar art of making magic.

Oh, how he'd missed it. The part of him that wasn't too busy freaking out about hostile spirits in his dwelling, was marveling at the feeling of energy flowing through his limbs again.

"Hey! I thought you smart guys didn't believe in this stuff?" Penny said, her arms having wrapped themselves around her. Commendably it was the only sign that she was shaken.

" Penny, the practice of using mystic energy requires vigorous study and a thorough understanding of various mystic mediums. In words you can understand, smart guys are the ones who use this stuff." He replied finally finishing the ward. It glowed before them.

"Whoa" Penny whispered, staring at the ward with something akin to awe." Did you feel the bad vibe just disappear?"

" Well of course I did, I made the protection ward, didn't I? Now, do you have any stones?" Sheldon kept his voice similarly low,his eyes diligently scanning the area for aforementioned stones.

"Rocks?" Penny pulled her eyes away from the door long enough to shoot him an incredulous look." Rocks don't work."

"Yes, they do Penny, you simply don't know how to use them." Sheldon sighed.

How was he suppose to conduct a cleansing ritual with out stones? A zombie was one thing. Sure it was all sorts of evil and inhumane, especially once one factored in the demonic entity that had gained possession over it. But a Blood Plane? At least a zombie was physical. He could touch it , and therefore theoretically destroy it. Antagonistic spirits? A completely different story. In so much as to make him seriously consider simply moving and leaving his former friends and acquaintance to their fate. A well warded apartment would keep him from further ramifications. Surely there where some altruistic practitioners nearby. This was California.

Penny glared at him, door forgotten" The instructions are pretty much idiot proof Sheldon, rocks don't work."

Sheldon glared right back," Yes they do, they clearly haven't encountered an idiot like you, Penny. Though I wonder why, your stupidity is quite mainstream."

"Of all the asshole things to say Sheldon! Rocks don't work" Penny hissed at him.

" Yes . They. Do." Sheldon managed through gritted teeth.

" Do not."

" Do too!"

"Do NOT!"

"Do TOO!"

"DO N-"

That's when they heard the screaming start.

Penny gave the door a nervous glance," I think we are gonna have to help them."

" Penny, are you not, to use the colloquial term, a social butterfly? Can't we just make new friends?"

Another voice began to scream, followed by what was clearly Raj knocking frantically at Penny's door.

" HELP! SHELDON! PENNY! SOMETHINGS VERY WRONG WITH HOWARD AND LEONARD!", things did have to be rather gruesome if Raj was speaking to a female.

Penny glared at him, all junior rodeo pigheadedness at the forefront " Your the genius, consider it a challenge."

Sheldon sighed, " Very well, get me all the candles you have, I'll be in your excuse for a kitchen."

The battle was on.

xXx

_**Gah! This was really hard to write. Mostly because a Plot for a sequel was really strong arming its way in there. Fortunately I was ultimately victorious. Next chapter is the last. Unless I end up working on an Epilouge. But that would be a bonus. The Shenny has yet to make real head way, which made me sad, but I did establish some ground work for their last chapter hook up. You can see it if you squint. And maybe turn your head sideways, lol. At least the Last chapter shouldnt be too long in coming. As per fanfiction writer dogma I beg for your opinion on my fanfic. Please Review~**_


	6. Chapter 6

_**Don't Mess With Voodoo**_

**by: muaaimoi**

Sheldon heads straight for Penny's cupboard.

One of the first things he had done upon realizing that yes, he was going to have to incorporate Penny into his life, was set her up with an Apocalypse Survival Kit of her very own. Not that she knew about it. Upon seeing Penny's reaction to helping her organize her apartment, Sheldon hadn't wanted to inform her of her inclusion into his survival plans. Lest he have to suffer through her reaction towards his attempts to save her life.

Instead he had set up a program in her Laptop that would detect phone lines and immediately blare Klaxons should they ever go down. Then promptly inform Penny of how to get through an apocalypse. Sheldon figured she had a seventy to thirty percent chance of making it. Based on how often her Laptop was charged. Then again if he was visiting at the time, her survival was assured regardless.

He found it just where he had left it. Buried behind cans of of yams. Thankfully Penny rarely used her own kitchen.

Inside where the essentials for a week of post-apocalyptic survival. Sadly Sheldon had never factored in a Blood Spirit scenario. Something he would rectify immediately after they survived this ordeal. He hated being caught with his pants down, so to speak.

He quickly pulls out a Water Gun.

As it stands he doesn't believe in vampires as represented in the classical media. But he has no doubt that a demon with a dead body to use is rather blood thirsty. And for reasons he does not comprehend, the effectiveness of holy water is based entirely on the faith of the person who blessed it. And has nothing to do with the actual faith of the person using it. This makes it almost ridiculously useful.

So he makes sure the Super-Soaker had a full cache. Next was the machete, silver rimmed. While the idea of silver bullets was very alluring, the actual expenses where a head ache and a half. The machete was much more practical. He heard Penny bumping into her own door.

He quickly picked up the clothing. If Penny wanted to save anyone she would have to take less than twenty minutes changing for once.

" What is that?" Penny questioned as she reappeared, arms laden with candles, " And where did it come from?"

Sheldon ignored her as he reached for the salt. He did not have time for Penny to yell at him.

The next order of business was getting Raj inside Penny's apartment. Had a Blood Plane not been opened, and doubtlessly doused him with an unspeakably rancid energy, this would have been a relatively simple affair. Sadly it wasn't.

" Put these on" Sheldon commanded, dropping the survival kit garments into her hands once she had put the candles down, " they will provide some protection from spirits."

Penny nodded and disappeared into her bedroom once again.

Sheldon stood in the middle of her kitchen, machete in hand, and began to chant as he dropped the salt in a rough circle around him.

He resolutely ignored Raj screaming. He was Hindu this week, that should buy him some time.

Besides, if Sheldon messed this up there would be no one left to save them. And all his potentially useful mystical items for dealing with Spirits where in his closet.

Damn it.

Sheldon forcefully pulled the whole of his attention back towards his task. Now was really not the time to regret such things. Maybe later. Instead he pushed his magic into the silver edge of the machete. Silver was the best purifying metal, and began yet another protection ward. He was sweating by the time he finished. After years of attempting to ignore that magic existed, such taxing magical under takings were clearly not a good idea. Sheldon frowned, he could be tired later. He had an apocalypse to stop at the moment.

Conveniently, Penny reappeared.

" Come here" he orders grimly, " What took you so long?"

This will not be pleasant.

Penny steps towards him automatically, though not with out a glare," Here!"

She thrusts her hands out, offering some necklaces and rings.

They look like quartz, " Good idea, Penny."

Clearly the Hindu gods are fond of Raj.

Sheldon closes his hand around one of hers and pulls her forward. Penny squawks, opening her mouth to deliver what is no doubt a scathing comment. But it dies in her throat as Sheldon begins to murmur things as he traces symbols with the machete on her skin. The metal ghosts over her flesh, never braking skin. Practically dancing as Sheldon manipulates it in quick flicks of his wrists. It's almost sensual. And Sheldon finds himself distracted by the way she flushes. Closes her mouth as her eyes flutter closed. Damn distracting.

" Open your mouth" He attempts to order. But his voice sounds strange. Not a command, but a plea.

Penny's lips part. He carefully maneuvers the machete past her lips, " Cut your tongue."

Penny's eyes snap open and lock onto his own as she does. He's glad to focus on the familiar green of her eyes as her tongue gives a rather devilish flick. Though the intensity he finds there is rather new. He's reacting far too strangely to her mouth.

Penny gently pushes the machete away, a sliver of blood on her lips," What now?"

Sheldon blinks his way back into reality. Then sticks out his tongue and swiftly runs an untouched edge along it. His blood flows freely.

He cups Penny's face with his free hand, and murmurs the sealing words for the ward. Then he seals her lips to his. Pushing his tongue into her mouth. Mixing their blood and sealing the optimum port into their bodies by blood spirits firmly closed.

He's completely unprepared for the jolt of electricity that seems to originate from where his mouth is making contact with her lips. It makes him jerk back, surprised.

Penny blinks slowly, dazed." Was that the spell?"

" Ward." Sheldon corrects automatically. He had never done magic directly on, or with anyone else before," Possibly."

Raj gives a particularly high pitched scream. Right, there was business to attend to. There would be time to pursue that line of questioning later.

" Hold this" He instructs Penny as he passes her the Super-Soaker." When we open the door, get as much of it as you can into Koothropalis mouth, understand? But don't use to much, that's all the Holy water we have. If he's been possessed well use the quarts and attempt to draw them out of him, if not, we will save them for Wolowitz and Leonard. As it stands our primary goal is to make it to my room. It is safe there, most of my comic books are heavily warded and I have weapons we can use against Spirits there. Got it?" Sheldon explains as he pushes Penny's coffee table away, and makes a salt circle on the floor. He shoots her an expectant look.

Penny gives a firm nod. Nearly bouncing in anticipation, " Got it!"

With out giving himself any time to talk himself out of it, Sheldon opens the door. Grips the machete in his hand just a bit too tightly. He doesn't want to hurt Raj. But that doesn't mean he wont.

Raj rushes right in. Only to be nailed in the face with the Super-Soaker.

Sheldon gives him an unceremonious shove forward and he topples right over. Thankfully he doesn't begin to wreathe in agony as he enters the salt circle. Not possessed then. He doesn't look very good at the moment though. He has gashes running all over his body. Freely bleeding wounds. Damn, Powerful blood spirits then. Today is just not his day. Raj has been bled. That makes him vulnerable, Hindu or not. It also makes him rather useless to them.

" Stay here" Sheldon orders, then he nods to Penny, "move out!"

The door slams shut behind them. If they fail, Raj will need all the protection he can get.

The door to his apartment has been closed. Clearly Raj had some sense then. Though not enough, he notes as he registers the blood spirits in the Hall. Three, not as many as there could be, no doubt the rest had been banished by Raj's genuine faith. But that meant the ones that survived where powerful. They approach slowly, and Sheldon feels a rush of relief. So the lack of a proper summoning had affected them . They aren't wholly within their world. They sway, swirling acrid energy flickering before his eyes. Their hold in this world is rather tenuous then.

Hes surprised when Penny nails one of them. She has gone rather pale, and if she grips the water gun any tighter it will break. He tells her so.

" Shut up Sheldon!" Penny hisses," I think I can see them."

Sheldon looks at her in surprise. Well that's a new development. It had taken him years to develop his aura sight. Perhaps Penny was naturally very gifted then. She was certainly willful enough. The spirits begin to draw nearer.

He slashes his machete through the Blood Spirit closest to him, watches it disappear. Later, he tells himself firmly. His life is in danger at the moment. He needs to get his priorities straight. Survival now, assessing new data later.

The last spirit falls to Penny's superb aim. He watches her breathe a sigh of relief and inwardly shakes his head.

outwardly says," The worst is yet to come Penny. It would be foolish to relax now."

She glares at him, green eyes flashing. He sighs and turns back towards his apartment.

Sheldon hates the anticipation that builds up as he prepares to open it. Regardless of his new found knowledge on the strength of the spirits. It 's just upsetting. He had to conduct a raid on his own home. Not to mention the vile miasma it now radiated. And he had thought burglars were bad. Penny puts it best," Its like some one left the evil over lords of toilets in there." Really, disgusting just doesn't cover it. Dark magic makes him nauseous for many reasons. But one of the primary ones is, quite simply, that it feels gross. Completely rancid.

Sheldon takes a deep breath and opens yet another door. He finds he will be quite grateful when it's the door to his room he's opening. And that cant be soon enough.

Its complete pandemonium inside.

_**xXx**_

_**Soooo, this is totally stretching into seven chapters...Sorry! As an extended apology I will work on an epilogue. But i think it would really mess with the flow of the story if i just make a monster chapter for the final. This one is pretty meaty as it is. Pacing is key and what not. The last chapter should be up soon. I'm a bit more ambivalent for the time of the epilogue though. I haven't even started that...please leave a comment! :) **_


	7. Chapter 7

_**Don't Mess With Voodoo**_

**by: muaaimoi**

Inside his apartment, very bad things are happening.

Sheldon slams the door shut as quickly as he can. As much as he would appreciate the lower number of Blood Spirits in his apartment, damning the rest of the world to do it is a bit much. Even if it is _his_ apartment. Sheldon quickly surveys the room.

It's completely flooded with blood spirits. Sheldon can't even see the entirety of his living room through the haze. He inwardly curses once he realised the encounter in the hall had given him false hope. Even after warning Penny of just that. He had fallen for the same trap. He'd gotten his hopes up that it would be easy. That it might just be a small scrimmage. That the lack of use had diminished his senses and maybe, just maybe he could have been happy to be wrong for once. He knew better damn it!

The Portal hovers, pulsing and spewing spirit after spirit. The first thing they will have to do is close it. Until then, they won't stand a chance. Things look bleak enough as it is, there doesn't seem to be a square inch of his apartment that isn't occupied by some acrid spirit. The stronger ones are the deepest crimson. The rest cluster into each other and flicker. He will never be able to look at a blinking traffic light the same way again. Another reason he didn't need not to drive.

He can hear Leonard and Howard moaning. He turns his head, finds their auras. He's completely unprepared for what he sees. He has only read about possessions. Seeing them for the first time is something else completely. Two, first hand at that, make him want to shut his eyes, cover his ears, and tell the entire world to go away.

It's quite irrational, he knows, wanting to pretend that it's all a bad dream, and that it will go away once he wakes up. But he can't help it.

The Spirits inside his friends are eating away at their auras. The very core of their beings. Sheldon knows they're is no coming back from something like that. Even if Howard and Leonard survive,( And they will, Sheldon is not risking his life for nothing.) they will never be the same again.

It's this thought that pushes him into overdrive. They have to hurry. Leonard and Howard don't have much time.

"Leonard-" Penny begins, in distress. She has spotted them too. It's a small comfort that she can't see the true scope of whats happening. But what she does see may be bad enough. Leonard has Howard's elbow in his mouth. And he's biting away with this horrible blankly deranged expression on his face. Lustful of the blood he has drawn. Howard isn't much better, clawing away at what he can reach of Leonard's face.

"No time, there is nothing we can do for them right now " Sheldon says as coldly as he knows how. He has to be cold, callous even. He can't afford to care about what's happening until he can do something about it.

Penny's eyes narrow. But she nods. She's trusting him to know what he's doing. To save their friends. He can only hope he is worthy of that trust. And that he's not leading Penny into a fate worse than death. He buries the doubt before it fully forms. It's a luxury he can't afford. He's done his best to protect them both. It will have to be enough.

" Straight to my room" Sheldon reminds her needlessly and throws himself into the throng.

He and Penny are back to back. She has taken the back, covering their rear. He takes point, cleaving the space before them with wide sweeps of his long limbs. Their only advantage seems to be that the spirits are relatively slow in comparison.

It would look ridiculous if he stops and thinks about it. But he can't.

He's swinging the machete as fast as he can. Penny conserves her ammo with small but lethal bursts. It's smart. But it doesn't help them make much headway. He's not doing much better, all but windmilling his arms in the hope of keeping them at bay. It's a vain hope.

They are far too out numbered. The spirits posses no physical bodies to constrict them. And when they meld into each other their energy pulses become stronger. It's as if their working against themselves. Thinning the herd of the weak and leaving the stronger, more adaptive spirits to come together. Their losing ammo and energy for every inch they make.

" Screw you! " Penny shouts, pumping her water gun and releasing a controlled burst straight toward his room. She offs quite a lot of them. At least none of the Holy water will be wasted. There is no where Penny can shoot that won't rid them of quite a few. He hears her curse under her breath. Penny was out and there are just so many...

And he may have just thought of a way to deal with their numbers.

Sheldon has always believed that genius is driven by need.

The Bible belt had needed some one enlightened among it's sea of ignorant people and produced him. The university needed funding, so he and other intellectually endowed individuals were offered employment. His home was infested with dark bloodthirsty spirits from another Plane. So Sheldon created the mystical equivalent of a frag grenade.

It was one of those sudden moments of clarity that he had come to appreciate over the years. Where all the knowledge swirling in his head produced the exact data stream needed. And everything clicked, fell right into place. He reached into his pocket for Penny's Quartz jewelry and one of the smaller candle sticks he'd spirited away in her apartment.

Sheldon has never chanted so fast in his life. He pours his magic directly into the stone. Probably more than he can afford, but it might just be the only thing that will give him and Penny a fighting chance. Then he brings the fat end of candle stick to his mouth, and runs it across his lightly bleeding tongue. The candle begins to burn.

Sheldon has never wanted to do something like this. It's not just unsafe, but practically down right stupid. They're in deep shit as it is. He doesn't want to chance it getting worse. But he no longer has that choice. When this is over he will devise a mobile circle of protection. For now, all that he has is the hope that he's preforming the lightest of magics.

Sheldon wraps the necklace around the candle with a quick flick of his wrist. Then chucks it at the portal while holding the last syllable of the chant in a hiss.

He swiftly pulls Penny down as he finishes the chant. They barely make it.

The Portal implodes.

The rancid energy resonates, spreading itself out and beginning to congeals into itself. Seeming to shrink and solidify, and then shattering before his very eyes.

Sheldon stares at the space that had just held the portal to a Blood Plane, stupefied. He can't quite believe whats just happened. That hadn't even been in the realm of possibility. What had-

" Sheldon!" Penny shrieks, and he's pulled out of his thoughts " What the hell are they doing!"

With his attention drawn back to the blood spirits that still exist in his realm, Sheldon begins to worry yet again. Just because there are no new ones coming doesn't mean that they can relax. Clearly the danger is far from over. They still have to deal with the horde inside the apartment.

The remaining spirits are all but flashing now, with how fast they flicker. This would have looked like a good thing if not for the way their color seems to deepen with each disappearance. Apparently what had been keeping them from fully assembling within the earthly plane was the improperly summoned Portal, despite having been the opening that granted them passage in the first place.

The spirits begin to meld. Darkening with each incarnation and driving Sheldon into whats surely a panic. Penny clutches at his sleeve on the floor and isn't far behind. There is a mass of red so dark it looks black by the TV. Its whirling the fastest, frenzied. When it moves, it's not slow.

The strike is swift, Sheldon barely manages to turn fully in time to watch. The spirit gives one strong pulse and thins, lengthening until it resembled a tentacle, and drives itself straight into Leonard's mouth.

The whole apartment seems to freeze. Sheldon brings the machete forward. It's a wasted effort. He's too far away and much too slow. The entirety of the spirit disappears into Leonard's mouth.

Sheldon can barely breathe, he's completely frozen, dreading as he is watching the Blood spirit devour all that is Leonard Hofstader.

Fortunately for Leonard, Sheldon is not the only person who isn't possessed in the apartment.

Penny has always been predisposed towards action. Sheldon had quickly deduced that once she had become part of their social circle. He had become further acquainted with that fact once she had become Leonard's girl friend. It showed in the way she was always willing to do things for others. Take his plate if she was going into the Kitchen, picking something up for him if she was going to the supermarket. Even taking him to the comic book store for no reason on occasion. Penny simply did things, she acted.

Sheldon knew that, which was why he couldn't figure out just why he was so surprised when she saved Leonard's life. With Ketchup of all things. Penny has always also been rather resourceful.

It's a good three minutes after Penny achieves this that Sheldon manages to get the sequence of events straight in his head. It requires a few simple deductions, since he can only remember what he had been paying attention to, and he'd been too busy being horrified by Leonard's impending doom to pay any attention to what Penny was doing at the time.

Which was attempting to find salt, she'd cut a swath through the sea of frenzied spirits with Sheldon's machete, a childhood spent playing baseball serving her well. She'd taken off the second she realized that the huge dark thing was moving, hacking her way to the place the condiments were kept. Then beginning her search for the best purifier she knew of . A pointless endeavor, Sheldon could have warned her. It had been absconded for its Ionizing properties for one of Leonard's experiments at the university. Sheldon had been planning to pick some up the next day, after giving Leonard a lecture about why the university should provide it's own salt, of course. He thought it was quite fascinating just how completely Leonard had managed to unknowingly set himself up.

Penny hadn't known any of this while she searched the condiment cabinet however. So she had grabbed the next best thing. Ketchup. Ten ounces of salt per bottle, Sheldon had informed her just two weeks prior. Clearly, she had remembered.

So she had cleaved it open with the machete , and calling on her experience as a pitcher, lobbed it straight at Leonard's face.

It shouldn't have worked.

Except that, quite clearly, it did.

Every spirit that found it's way between Leonard and Penny's mutilated Ketchup bottle found itself smote. And when the Ketchup bottle struck Leonard in the face, the intensely powerful dark meld of spirits that possessed him sizzled their way out of existence. The run off that got onto Howard took care of the entities that possessed him as well.

Sheldon looks back at Penny. Really looks, past the passionate, bold Viridian Green of her aura, and the Yellow Gold that softened it's hard edges. And once again everything clicked.

A purifier. No wonder the portal had stood no chance. Sheldon had shared blood with a purifier, the candle and the Jewelry had belonged to her. Sheldon had read vague allusions about people with the power to cleanse anything. No divine spirit required. What where the chances of meeting one? Let alone having her as a neighbor. Sheldon was itching to do the math... Even her rapid sight made sense now.

Nothing otherworldly stood a chance against a Purifier. They were tied completely to the earthly plane. It made spirit walking and other such practices impossible for them. But Penny would never have to worry about a zombie in her life. One couldn't exist with in ten miles of her, at least they wouldn't once he'd trained her how to broadcast her magic. And purification tools like stones couldn't work for her the way they did for every one else. Her very presence would do a better job. The only reason the Blood spirits had survived thus far was because all of Penny's magic was currently anchored onto her flesh. I was such a waste...

"Penny" he called out, " Come here, there's a way to get rid of them, hurry!"

Penny did, dashing forward and cleaving through everything that was in her way. As if she had ever been in any danger...

" Close your eyes" Sheldon commanded. Taking his machete from her hands and nicking her finger." Think about mountains and plains, or even those corn fields your so fond of."

" Ow! Sheldon wha-" Penny went silent the second he put her finger in his mouth. It was rather unsanitary, but Sheldon would worry about that later.

Currently he closed his own eyes, and used Penny's blood as a pathway to her magic. It was warm. That was the first thing that registered. Almost soothing in the way it flowed around him, enveloping him into itself, burning away all the impurities left behind by the spirits he'd slaughtered. He begun to channel it into himself. Normally this would be dangerous. He ran the risk of one of their auras giving in to the other, bending the owner completely to the other persons will. But this was Penny, the woman would never give an inch she didn't have to. And Sheldon was much the same.

Finally, once he was sure he had pooled enough of that clean, purifying fire into himself, Sheldon slammed it all out. He pictured it resonating out of himself in waves. Solid ones which would ram into anything that didn't belong. When he opened his eyes there wasn't a blood spirit in sight.

He turned his gaze back to Penny, feeling his face flush as he took in what she looked like. Her hair was a mess and her face had turned red, she almost looked feverish. She was panting and she was staring at him, eyes half lidded. Penny licked her lips, " Another spell?" She questioned, voice raspy.

Sheldon began to answer, only to realize that her finger was still in his mouth. He quickly dropped it, flushing an even deeper shade of red, " Yes, their all gone now."

From his place on the floor, Leonard groaned.

They both snapped their heads towards him.

" Is he okay now?" Penny asked, taking a hesitant step towards Leonard. Sheldon felt a weird feeling settle in his chest. Almost like resentment. How strange.

" No longer possessed" he replied," But we should really get Wolowitz to a hospital, those bites might get infected."

" What happened" Leonard mumbled from his place on the floor, before slowly struggling to get up. Penny did not offer her assistance, she seemed undecided about taking another step.

" Ew, my mouth tastes like blood... and Ketchup?" Leonard wiped at his mouth, " Holy shit! What happened to Howard?"

" He's completely fine " Penny muttered in disbelief.

Howard, however, stayed unconscious on the ground. He had probably lost quite some blood. The entire incident had taken about twenty minutes. Not enough to bleed out from such small wounds, but the next month might find him experiencing some dizziness and adding Iron supplements to his diet.

" Some one should really get Howard to the emergency room" Sheldon commented.

No one moved.

" YOUR COMPLETELY FINE!" Penny burst out, near the top of her lungs. Startling the other conscious people in the room. She sounded pretty mad.

" Isn't that a good thing?" Leonard asked. He wasn't actually, fine that was. The next few months would find Leonard unable to recall certain things. Important, critical things. The memories that defined him. Made him who he was. Penny did not know that. And Sheldon found himself in no mood to share. Leonard could have his sympathy once he got through his rage of having his home invaded by evil. It would be a few weeks.

" Leonard" Penny began, her new found reasonable tone contrasting greatly with her previous rage, " Consider yourself dumped."

" What!" Leonard spluttered.

Penny ignored him, turning towards Sheldon.

Next thing he knew Penny's lips where on his again. This was no mystical undertaking. Penny was kissing him. The jolt of electricity coursed through him in the most oddly pleasant of ways. So it hadn't been the spell last time then. Or at least any magic Sheldon knew about. Perhaps it was Penny's purification powers.

Sheldon kissed her back.

He would require a lot more data in order to reach a satisfying conclusion.

_**XxX**_

_**So here's the end. I truly hope you guys find this chapter worth the wait. I'm working on an Epilogue as promised but I'm still on the fence about a sequel. It would take some serious Oc's, plus the guys long term reaction to the mystical. In other words: time and energy I could spend on other stories. Many of which will probably be Shenny. I'm almost ridiculously fond of this pairing. Sheldon speaks to my inner geeky snob while Penny touches the take charge girl in me. I can't decide who I like writing more... As it stand it's gonna take me a while to decide, the sequel would also be significantly longer... Tell me what you guys think. I want to thank every one who read this, especially those of you who took the time to alert, favorite, and most importantly, Review. Rereading those reviews is what got this story finished in a month, a true record for me. So thank you again, you guys ROCK!**_


	8. Chapter 8

_**Don't Mess With Voodoo**_

**by: muaaimoi**

It had taken another fifteen minutes to finally get Howard to the hospital. Raj drove. Leonard doing the heavy lifting despite the scratches on his face and new found single status. No one had it in themselves to pity him. They all knew it was his fault.

Leonard seemed to be the only one having trouble accepting that fact.

He's so mad he can't even bring himself to share the same car, let alone the same living space. He rides with Penny instead, informs her he will be staying over until his abode is properly taken care of. This works out well for them both, Penny refuses to give up her death grip on his hand, he doubts she will let him out of her sight anytime soon. He doesn't exactly blame her. He's not planning to let her leave his sights anytime soon either.

A Purifier.

It's only luck that she had been one, been there all along. Only luck that they're alive. Sheldon doesn't even believe in luck, which says much more about the kind of danger they were in than any words he can actually think of to adequately describe the situation.

His so called friends do a lot of rationalizing and memory suppression following their return from the hospital. So called, because Sheldon lays the blame of the evil they let into his home squarely on all of their shoulders.

Howard's especially. If he believed in it, he'd call it Karma. But he doesn't, so Sheldon gets angry instead.

He's almost embarrassed he hadn't thought to check the original wards he'd put on his apartment. He can't claim he'd forgotten about them, for him, forgetting is an impossibility. It just hadn't occurred to him until afterwards that the wards should have stopped the rancid magic from entering his apartment in the first place. Or at least jolted him in warning. He doesn't like what he finds when he analyses them.

Apparently, Howard had just enough faith in his religion to bring down protection wards when he disobeyed the Jewish doctrine. Years of Howard being a 'Bad Jew' in his apartment had rendered his protection null and void.

And he'd never noticed.

It's not a mistake Sheldon plans to make ever again. Screw his fear of potential insanity. Sheldon would rather live to actually be crazy. Most people seem to be under the impression that he is regardless. He's planning to never turn off his aura sight again.

That Penny's aura is the equivalent of a visual feast has very little to do with that. The amount is infinitesimally small.

Equally microscopic is Penny's ability to keep her hands to herself. Sheldon has become rather intimately acquainted with that facet of her personality recently. He has been residing in her domicile for two days now, and he hasn't managed to teach her a thing about magic.

Whenever he attempts to do so, it doesn't take her a full five minutes to pounce on him and start pawing. It's embarrassing. And it really doesn't help that he finds it increasingly difficult to remember he's not suppose to want so much contact between them. Something about having Penny's lips on his, or even any part of him, that electric thrumming passing between them...Well, Sheldon supposes it's called magic for a reason.

It's something science cannot hope to define.

Penny likes experimenting though, and there have been certain break trough's. For example, Sheldon no longer needs direct contact with her blood in order to pool her power within himself. He's not sure if it's because saliva works just as well as a medium or if it's from the original sharing of blood.

Sadly Penny does not posses the restraint required for him to check. He's tried to explain the situation to her, but anytime Sheldon brings the possibility of Sharing magic, Penny has taken to locking their lips together.

And again, he's finding increasingly harder to mind. If he didn't know better it would almost seem as though she was dating him. As it is, their interactions have gained several markers of a standard relationship. Penny kisses him both hello and goodbye. She often goes out of her way to greet him publicly in such a manner. He's been upgraded to honey. And they spend a remarkable amount of time making out.

Logically this would mean they were dating. Sheldon's pretty certain that one has to be asked in order to become the second party in a relationship, however, so that is probably not the end, it's all just very confusing. Social situations are not his forte.

Leonard certainly seems to be under the impression that Penny had dumped him in order to date Sheldon. He spends a lot of time glaring at him, at least, when he's not busy looking at his board like he's never seen it before. Sheldon imagines that he stares at a lot of things in this manner, but he's not present in the apartment often enough to verify it.

He almost feels bad for his silence on just what's wrong with Leonard. But then he remembers the ordeal that lead to it and he gets angry enough not to care again. Leonard is handling it remarkably well regardless. Though Sheldon's not sure how much of Leonard's quiet acceptance of his situation is simple stoicism or that he had truly lost much of himself.

Penny's power is quite remarkable. Even if they are inching along her training instead of taking the running leaps they should be. Perhaps he should propose Penny get another instructor. They would surely cover more ground if Penny has no interest in touching them. That would definitely require him to procure a a female instructor.

Sheldon sighs. He's never been part of the supernatural community. And honestly speaking, he has no interest in it. Magic has always been something Sheldon had reserved to doing by himself. At least, until Penny. And horrible things that it would take an entire coven to cast away would flee solely at Penny's very presence. It's too selfish for words to keep quiet about someone who could do so much good. Not to mention training them inadequately. But Penny won't let him do a good job of it. So she's leaving Sheldon with few options.

California seems to be something of a hotbed for supernatural activity. At least now that Sheldon's paying attention. As it is, he almost can't believe he's missed some of the signs before. They're all rather 's even pointed several out to Penny.

She seems exited at the prospect of being part of the supernatural community. Penny is not the kind of person to lord her power over others, despite her thirst for it. But he's sure most of her enthusiasm stems from the fact that Sheldon has pointed out that once she established a reputation for herself, she could begin to charge for her services. And Penny does not want to continue to be a waitress. Even if he will miss her serving him his cheeseburgers on Tuesdays.

That desire is why Sheldon finds himself in the occult store Penny had said Leonard had found the Voodoo head in.

The second he walks in, he knows he's made a mistake.

There are many magical auras within the room. Some absolutely radiating their mystical energy. And Peppered among them, almost carelessly are rather dark artifacts. It's chilling to know that the Voodoo head hadn't been the worst of it.

Sheldon freezes, casting his senses out desperately, cataloging all the evil he can sense in the room. A very disturbing pattern is emerging.

"Hullo" A soft English voice comes out from the back.

"Hi." Penny chirps back, smile wide and friendly. She is utterly unaware that anything is wrong. And things are very, very wrong.

"Ah yes, you're that young lady that came in with the gentlemen with the glasses, correct?" The approaching lady inquired. She wore a purple shawl with a layered skirt and all manner of bracelets and amulets wrapped around her thin neck. Coupled with large pentagram earrings, and a bandanna knotted to the side of her head, she looked like a stereotypical mystic.

But it was all a sham. Sheldon could feel power coming off her in waves. A dark power, but the darkness was well hidden. Much like the dark artifacts in her store were positioned strategically to be drowned out by the other mystical objects. If Sheldon's ability to sense magic hadn't been as finely tuned, so recently exposed to the acridness of dark magic, he would have never sensed any of it.

Much like he would have never seen the darkness in her aura if he hadn't sensed the distortion magic from he amulets.

" Yup" Penny replied, " We came back to find something's, Sheldon here's gonna teach me all about magic!"

The woman's head snapped to him then, eyes glinting with an almost reptilian intelligence. Sheldon was glad for his practice of suppressing his aura. While most people's auras oscillated in length and diameter randomly in passionate colors regardless of magical strength, small, tightly compact auras were still considered a sign of a raging lack of mystical power. It had taken Sheldon a very long time to learn to feign it.

When those cold eyes dismissed him, Sheldon knew it was worth it.

"I see." Instead she turned to Penny, a warm smile on her own lips " If I could have a moment of your time, my dear?"

Sheldon turned carefully, injecting the motion with as much casualty as he knew how, "I'll look around."

He positioned himself strategically further down the Isle, sending the smallest amount of magic possible to his ear. He activated a listening spell. It was only then that he took in the display in front of him. What sort of mystical undertaking required candles shaped like male genitalia?

"So what's up?" Penny asked the woman cheerfully.

"There's no gentle way to go about this. So I will cut to the chase. I believe you're being fooled my dear, I'm very sorry to say." The woman replied.

"Fooled about what?" Penny demanded. Instantly riled and defensive. A bi-product of her relationship with Leonard no doubt, he had constantly made her feel unintelligent.

"The man that walked in with you has the magical power of a fruit fly Little less than the man you were with before. He no doubt only offered such services in the hopes of furthering your relationship. I'm sure a lovely young lady like you is no stranger to men lying in order to get into a woman's good graces." The woman soothed.

Penny laughed. "Sheldon may be a lot of things, lady, but someone who'd lie just to get into my pants isn't one of them. I don't know where you got that idea, but you're crazy if you think he's like that."

" Auras do not lie," The woman tutted," But I suppose you will learn otherwise in time. If you are interested in the truly great things magic can accomplished, you may wring me at this number. I am available at anytime. Do not hesitate to call."

"Thanks, but I doubt I'll need it." Penny said.

The room lapsed into silence again, the only sound coming from Penny's footsteps as they brought her towards him, "So why do we need penis candles?"

Fortunately, some patrons chose that moment to walk in. They distracted the owner.

"We do not" Sheldon informed her, lowering his voice to a near whisper. Then Sheldon took her hand, began walking towards the nearest dark artifact." How do you feel about a practical lesson?"

"Practical? Why are we whispering?" she looked at him, confused.

He silently cast a privacy spell. Along with a secrecy and distraction, with as little magic as possible. It was surprisingly taxing." There's dark magic in this room Penny, can you sense it?"

Her eyes widened," What?"

"That practitioner is dark" Sheldon whispered towards her," there are many dark artifacts positioned so that their energy is drowned out by other magical artifacts. We are going to find and purify them all."

"What about the lady?" Penny hissed.

"Your power is only detectable when one is in physical contact with you. Otherwise you would have been found years ago." He told her seriously.

Penny nodded," Got it. Good to know. How do I sense stuff again?"

Sheldon talked her through it, and within five minutes Penny had located the item nearest to them. Sheldon kissed her, pulling her power into him and disposing of the dark magic within. An hour later, the finished, Penny managing to Purify the last of it herself.

She beamed at him, a wide, accomplished smile.

He smiled back, "Very good Penny. Now, on to the confrontation."

Penny blinked at him," What?"

"Those objects did not position themselves Penny. That woman placed them there so that she can draw power from them. The darker the artifact, the viler the rituals performed to create them and the more horrific the acts they perform. They are stronger as well; we can't afford to let her reach them. She's selling evil things that kill people. Do you really think we can let her get away with that? She could have killed could have Leonard. She could have killed all of us."

And that was unforgivable. It wasn't in Sheldon to just let someone doing something like that go on their merry way. It just meant they could do something worse at a later date. Who knew how many had died because of this woman?

"Shit!" Penny exclaimed, quiet but heated, "Isn't there someone we can call, like magic police or something?"

"Perhaps." Sheldon admitted, their very well could be." But I am unaware of how to contact them. I have never been part of the supernatural community."

Penny sighed, before shaking her head, he watched avidly as Penny spine straightened, her eyes gained that stubborn, do or die look. Her aura flared beautifully, all raw strength and bold determination." So it's up to us then?"

Sheldon nodded, "It's up to us."

"How do we go about it? Do we just attack her? You've never shown me how." Penny looked rather unhappy about that gaping hole in her teachings.

"We've already weakened her substantially, dark magic can't live in harmony with the body, so sorcerers store it in items, like Voodoo dolls and such. I can sense a stronger store in the back room, so we must bar her access there at all cost. She can't truly harm you, dark magic just slides off your kind. I will work to bind her magic, we will figure out how to go from there."

"Isn't she gonna, I don't know, notice?" Penny deadpanned.

" I have been gathering what I need as we walked through the store, your job will be to bar her access to the back room. I will make camp back here and begin the spell, but she will feel me working on her magic. Penny, you need to be very careful, there are still plenty of spells that will distract and disorient you. You have already caught her interest. So it might be best if you try to play to that."

Penny nodded seriously, taking a deep breath, "I'm an actress, and a kick ass Purifier, I can do this."

"I would not entrust you with the task if I believed you incapable of it." Sheldon assured her.

Penny smiled at him, visibly drawing strength from his words, standing just a little bit straighter, and then leaning up to kiss him. The spark of magic between them felt stronger than usual. More potent. "Lets get her cowboy."

With that Penny sauntered forward, leaving the range of his spells and coming to the woman's attention. All Sheldon heard was a wail of "You were right!" Before ignoring the outside world and focusing on his task.

The smashing of a bookcase broke his concentration. Sheldon looked up only to see a fire ball graze Penny. It was all the motivation he needed to abandon the task. He'd managed to bind about half the witches power, but apparently her amulets had his more than the dark taint of her magic. She was much more powerful than he'd thought her too. Sheldon lunged forward, grabbing a candle she'd lit accidentally and slashing it forward. The fire spewed like a whip, setting her layered skirts on fire.

She barely noticed, having lunged towards Penny. She had hopped over the counter at some point, barring the entrance to the back with her body. Penny's stubbornness was always commendable, even when pitted against his own, but especially when aligned with his plans.

So when the woman moved forward Penny pushed her back, shoving her with enough strength to send her to the ground.

He imagined that's when the fire began to burn flesh. The woman was up like a shot. Putting out her skirt with a jab of her hand and sending another fire ball towards him. Sheldon ducked. Yet another of her displays caught on fire.

When he looked up again the woman was halfway down the isle, grabbing an anthem Penny had purified with triumph before turning and shooting a dark spell that went over his head and hit Penny. It was fascinating to watch it all but denigrate as it hit her aura.

The woman hissed, looking at the anthem in confusion before lobbying it at him. Sheldon grabbed a thick herbal tome from somewhere beside him and barely managed to intercept it.

Then he lobed it back at the owner.

He missed; the woman had begun to run towards the exit. Sheldon hissed a locking spell at the door but the woman barreled through it, shattering the glass. He took off after her, barely managing to get through the door in time to see the woman whip around, shooting a dark spell that caught him in the arm and made skin there tighten horrifically, the skin on the surface surrounding it stretching and beginning to tear. He froze it, one of the few ways to combat a dark spell he knew. He Looked up, another freezing spell on his tongue.

It went unneeded. The woman was hit by a truck.

"Oh my God! Holy shit!" Penny swore behind him. She stared at the body in shock. He grabbed her hand; they couldn't afford to be associated with the turn of events. He was a terrible liar.

"Indeed." Sheldon murmured, ignoring the offended Christian sensibilities his mother had managed to install within him. They showed up at the most random of times. He hadn't gotten around to plotting a scatter plot for them yet.

"The stores on fire." Penny noted, looking over her shoulder and away from the scene in front of the store. The truck driver had dismounted. And he was freaking out over the corpse. Women were screaming and crowd was beginning gather.

" How serendipitous" Sheldon murmured, grabbing Penny's hand and casting their magic into the fire, he guided it into the back room, enforcing it with the purifying properties of Penny's power and commanding it to consume all the would cease once it accomplished it's task, meanwhile, the approaching fire department wouldn't have much luck putting it out.

"Let's go home." Sheldon murmured. He needed a shower, or three.

Penny squeezed the hand she clearly had no intention of releasing, "Let's."

Frustrating woman. But the warmth of her magic felt good, and he would need it to take care of his shoulder later, when he could feel it again. It wasn't like he was enjoying just holding her hand. And if he was, well, the amount was infinitesimal.

_**xXx**_

_**So the monster chapter I was trying to avoid? Say hello the the epilogue. You guys wanted a sequel and I love you, so it's going to happen. I'm sorry this took so long but there are many ways I can go about this and it took me forever and a half to make up my mind. It's going to be called Messing With Magic and it will involve a shit load of OC's. And a more in depth look at how the guys are dealing with the aftermath of the shitstorm at the apartment. I hope you've enjoyed this baby and that this epilogue gets you fired up for whats to come.**_


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